This,That, Some OtherThings...

This is about how I feel at the moment...sort of brownish and grayish and droopy and used up and stripped of cheer.  My brother and his girlfriend left this morning for their return trip to Vermont, and in eight days my brother will begin the process of deploying to Afghanistan with the Vermont National Guard. One weekend a month and two weeks a year it is not.

I cannot eloquently untangle the knot of emotions that sits in the pit of my stomach.  All I know is that I don't want him to go. He is brave and smart and strong, and so I will believe that he will be fine, but I don't want him to go. I don't want my kindhearted, gentle little brother to experience war. I don't want him to have to live that fear and ugliness. I don't want anyone to.