First, I am resolving to embrace the chaos. I am trying to limit my expectations as much as possible, accept that I know and can control very little, and get very comfortable with the chaos that will surely accompany living with and caring for a tiny human. This whole concept is coming into play sooner than expected since Baby Boy Cusimano is breech. His butt is nestled pretty securely in my pelvis and his head, feet, and hands are up under my ribcage, and it looks like a c-section is in my future.
|Maybe he's mad because he still doesn't have a name?|
It sounds weird to say that I had been looking forward to going into labor, rushing to the hospital, and having Tom coach me through contractions. Of course, I knew that it would be painful, but I have imagined having that experience ever since I started imagining myself as a mother, so I wanted to do everything possible to try to get him to turn. I hung off the side of my bed, laid on the ground with my hips in the air, and scheduled an external cephalic version.
Tom and I spent most of the afternoon in the hospital yesterday, and my OB and a nurse spent about thirty minutes contorting my belly, trying to get the little guy to do a somersault. Long story short, I think he's trying to help me with my first parenting lesson - things don't go as planned, and as long as everyone's healthy, all will be well. Embrace. The. Chaos.
Second, I am going to really work on patience. Patience with myself as I adjust to this new role, patience with my body which I know won't be back to normal any time soon, and patience with my partner as we navigate parenthood together. Patience, also, with this babe who is already demonstrating something of a stubborn streak. I'm not a patient person, but I'm workin' on it.
Lastly, I decided that I needed to address the fact that I think I read like four books last year. I love reading; I always have. I've always considered myself "a reader," but in recent years, I haven't dedicated much time to it. I read a lot of short pieces on the internet, but I have found my attention span shrinking by the day. When I saw a method for tracking a daily habit, I knew it would be the perfect motivation.
One of the blogs that I read regularly featured this goal-tracking calendar, which you can download here, and it has totally helped to keep my honest - I've read four books so far this year. I'm sure that this will get a lot harder once Baby makes his arrival, but - it's there right on the tracker - "Shoot for progress, not perfection."
And, since it's Valentine's Day, here is this week's appropriately festive belly photo.